So this living in Maui thing is really working out. I thoroughly enjoy my friends, the weather, my boyfriend, my job (sometimes), and the music opportunities I’ve been given while here. Of course I miss my family. My mother and step-dad visited me in December which was VERY nice. But, I really miss my brothers. Not being able to see my little brother go to his first day of highschool, not being able to see and hug my older brother when he came back from over seas. I really hope to visit the dirty dirty soon. Plenty of people to see, plenty of people to confront…
But, it’s come to this; it’s actually a new chapter in my life. Not just a prolonged short story. I’ve been so lucky and I’m sure I’ll get more in-depth with what has really been going on with me sooner or later. Maybe—we will see.
I feel like the constant tapping of this keyboard will sound less lonely than my voice echoing off of this wall. I’ve never been one to really be alone. Sure, I’ve lost my friends before but I still always had that ONE person. ONE person who would have a shoulder willing and ready. I don’t feel like I have that right now. It’s been a downhill journey on what seems like an endless cliff. Perks every now and then; but I think I’m making them up. I’ve grown to be a lot more independent but it’s not because I want to. It’s also not that I am strictly DEPENDENT on any one person, but this gal right here needs company from time to time.
As an update, the only boy I’ve ever loved is no longer in love with me. He would rather sneak around with one of my best friends. I think they both deserve shit. I hope they catch STDs. I hope she hurts him and I hope he hurts her. I hope they both go through what I went through. I don’t think anyone could ever truly understand how much that situation killed me. And to see them happy together. I don’t believe in second chances anymore and HAH! LOVE? Pish posh.
I spend my time trying to see the bottom of bottles. I’m sick of it down here, someone save me.
i want my boyfriend back.
1. the fact that my boyfriend is not in jail.
2. the fact that i have eyes which can see, everything.
3. the fact that my small hands can make music.
4. the fact that i have the courage to get out of bed eveyrday.
5. my friends.
6. my mother.
THINGS I DISLIKE:
1. my boyfriend being so far away.
2. not being able to MAKE LOVE when i want.
3. orange juice…without ice.
4. this blog.
JENDBEN, UPDATE YOUR TUMBLR.
my hair is magenta and my boyfriend is in town.
my hair is the color of how i feel.
radiant.
